Blaise Pascal
Monday, September 2, 2013
30 years late
Who killed Benigno "Ninoy" S. Aquino Jr.?
Was it Ferdinand Marcos, the 1965-1986 president of the Philippines - he who in his years in office had been constantly criticized by Ninoy; he who had proclaimed martial law in expression of his "desire" to build a new and better nation? Was it he - he who due to this proclamation caused years of turmoil and animosity all over the country; he who planted seeds of fear and doubt in the hearts and minds of Filipinos; he who used his power to dictate Philippines's activities - its progress and decline; he who killed Filipinos' hopes and dreams of freedom; he who without due process of law imprisoned Ninoy and other politicians against him in his plans and intentions; he who in giving benefits, was partial and particular only to those who accepted and obeyed his laws; he who was not only an enemy of the Filipinos, but also of Ninoy?
Who killed Ninoy? Was it Imelda Marcos, the ever "beautiful" wife and right hand of Mr. Marcos? Was it she - she who along with her husband, squandered the nation's treasury for the establishment of useless centers and for endless adornment of her body with jewelries and laces? Was it she who plotted the doom of Ninoy; she who had a great chance of being the next president in replacement of her husband; she who participated in the plans and implementations of Mr. Marcos?
Who killed Ninoy? Was it Danding Cojuangco, a crony of Marcos and a wealthy businessman - he who had enough influence and power to order a team to kill Ninoy; he who had access to the Marcoses and to the Aquinos; he who was once involved in a dispute with Ninoy earlier in their careers?
Who killed Ninoy? Was it the communists, as accused by Mr. Marcos? Were it they - they who may have hated Ninoy in every way; they who had previously been companions of Ninoy in his younger days in service of the army?
i wondered. i asked. i looked for evidences, possible clues that would lead me to the light of this dark and unjustifiable act in history. The answers, in some ways, i thought, came closer. Yet at some point, some theories led me to darkness once more. It seems hopeless. Lots of witnesses have died. Many evidences were gone. No video clip nor photo was ever accurate. It was also as if time erased and disabled the key unlocking the crime, making it immensely difficult, if not impossible, to disentangle the interlocking cobwebs of truth and untruth.
i couldn't help it. Though dying is inevitable, i swear i just couldn't help being regretful over the death of an exemplary and honorable man. Days ago, his death anniversary was remembered, honored, reminisced. Memories of his life and documentaries were shown on TV. It was shown, before his death, that he already had a sense of what was to come after his trip from Taipei to Manila. He fully considered the great probability of assassination, yet he showed immense and deep determination to come home. A day before his last trip, he had been objective in every way. He ordered media teams to be ready with their cameras, recorders, etc, for whatever would happen. He even discussed how a bulletproof vest could only protect his body, thus, risking his legs and most importantly, his head. He prayed, he slept, he ate, he wrote letters, he communicated with the people he needed to communicate with, and he returned home to be killed.
Nevertheless, i will not stop wondering what all these are for. Yes, after the death of Ninoy, Filipinos were ignited and they rallied against the dictator and against his crooked administration, forcing an end to his dictatorship and leading to the restoration of democracy. Now what? How is today different from the 80s? Politics - still full of greed and corruption. Summary killings are ever present. Middle classes, generally, don't give a care! Yet all these are killing us reducing us to society-made slaves of money, work, entertainment, luxuries. Today must have been worse then! The national and local government now are composed of unfit officials. There is an imbalance of "passion" (that's how they name it in all their dramas and flowery speeches) and ability. We must even ask, what this passion is all about - to serve the people or to collect lots of money? We might even go further, are Filipinos really worth dying for? With all due respect to Ninoy's analysis of the good and bad characteristics of Filipinos, was it a wrong move then for him to embrace death for his fellowmen?
Who killed Ninoy? Were they the Filipinos during his generation - they who hid in their homes for fear of punishment and/or death; they who preferred silence and tyranny more than holding their heads up in protest of the dictatorship; they who nursed fear in their hearts and in the hearts of other Filipinos; they who refused to prove themselves worthy of freedom and equality; they who had been tolerant of the Marcos administration, they who had been too late to rise up?
Who killed Ninoy? Was it i - i who had been late 30 years; i who never had the chance to speak up for Ninoy and to join him in his philosophy and cause for freedom and democracy; i who spent my youth in carefree laughters and forgetful enjoyment? Was it i - i who had been so passive and uninvolved for more than half of my life, basking in the accident of being born in abundance? Was it i - i who closed my ears and eyes to the pleas and cries of the poor and the oppressed, the dying and the martyrs? Was it i who killed him - i who refused to seek wisdom and righteousness; i who gave up looking for opportunities of being vigilant and concerned about the nation even when it is within arm's reach; i who refused to prove myself worthy of freedom and equality; i who is so tolerant of the present administration?
As quoted by Ninoy, "To a citizen of democracy, to protest is not only a right, it is a duty and it imposes an obligation on the government to listen, to consider and to be guided by what the community says."
In a technical sense, does it matter then who shot Ninoy or who plotted the crime? i bet even Ninoy, for God's greater plans, might even thank his assassinator, in the same way that he thanked Mr. Marcos for making possible his conversion in his imprisonment!
But it is not right for only one man to carry the burden of the whole country. Everyone must take up their cross and do their share in building the New and Better Nation we should be headed to.
Was it Ferdinand Marcos, the 1965-1986 president of the Philippines - he who in his years in office had been constantly criticized by Ninoy; he who had proclaimed martial law in expression of his "desire" to build a new and better nation? Was it he - he who due to this proclamation caused years of turmoil and animosity all over the country; he who planted seeds of fear and doubt in the hearts and minds of Filipinos; he who used his power to dictate Philippines's activities - its progress and decline; he who killed Filipinos' hopes and dreams of freedom; he who without due process of law imprisoned Ninoy and other politicians against him in his plans and intentions; he who in giving benefits, was partial and particular only to those who accepted and obeyed his laws; he who was not only an enemy of the Filipinos, but also of Ninoy?
Who killed Ninoy? Was it Imelda Marcos, the ever "beautiful" wife and right hand of Mr. Marcos? Was it she - she who along with her husband, squandered the nation's treasury for the establishment of useless centers and for endless adornment of her body with jewelries and laces? Was it she who plotted the doom of Ninoy; she who had a great chance of being the next president in replacement of her husband; she who participated in the plans and implementations of Mr. Marcos?
Who killed Ninoy? Was it Danding Cojuangco, a crony of Marcos and a wealthy businessman - he who had enough influence and power to order a team to kill Ninoy; he who had access to the Marcoses and to the Aquinos; he who was once involved in a dispute with Ninoy earlier in their careers?
Who killed Ninoy? Was it the communists, as accused by Mr. Marcos? Were it they - they who may have hated Ninoy in every way; they who had previously been companions of Ninoy in his younger days in service of the army?
i wondered. i asked. i looked for evidences, possible clues that would lead me to the light of this dark and unjustifiable act in history. The answers, in some ways, i thought, came closer. Yet at some point, some theories led me to darkness once more. It seems hopeless. Lots of witnesses have died. Many evidences were gone. No video clip nor photo was ever accurate. It was also as if time erased and disabled the key unlocking the crime, making it immensely difficult, if not impossible, to disentangle the interlocking cobwebs of truth and untruth.
i couldn't help it. Though dying is inevitable, i swear i just couldn't help being regretful over the death of an exemplary and honorable man. Days ago, his death anniversary was remembered, honored, reminisced. Memories of his life and documentaries were shown on TV. It was shown, before his death, that he already had a sense of what was to come after his trip from Taipei to Manila. He fully considered the great probability of assassination, yet he showed immense and deep determination to come home. A day before his last trip, he had been objective in every way. He ordered media teams to be ready with their cameras, recorders, etc, for whatever would happen. He even discussed how a bulletproof vest could only protect his body, thus, risking his legs and most importantly, his head. He prayed, he slept, he ate, he wrote letters, he communicated with the people he needed to communicate with, and he returned home to be killed.
Nevertheless, i will not stop wondering what all these are for. Yes, after the death of Ninoy, Filipinos were ignited and they rallied against the dictator and against his crooked administration, forcing an end to his dictatorship and leading to the restoration of democracy. Now what? How is today different from the 80s? Politics - still full of greed and corruption. Summary killings are ever present. Middle classes, generally, don't give a care! Yet all these are killing us reducing us to society-made slaves of money, work, entertainment, luxuries. Today must have been worse then! The national and local government now are composed of unfit officials. There is an imbalance of "passion" (that's how they name it in all their dramas and flowery speeches) and ability. We must even ask, what this passion is all about - to serve the people or to collect lots of money? We might even go further, are Filipinos really worth dying for? With all due respect to Ninoy's analysis of the good and bad characteristics of Filipinos, was it a wrong move then for him to embrace death for his fellowmen?
Who killed Ninoy? Were they the Filipinos during his generation - they who hid in their homes for fear of punishment and/or death; they who preferred silence and tyranny more than holding their heads up in protest of the dictatorship; they who nursed fear in their hearts and in the hearts of other Filipinos; they who refused to prove themselves worthy of freedom and equality; they who had been tolerant of the Marcos administration, they who had been too late to rise up?
Who killed Ninoy? Was it i - i who had been late 30 years; i who never had the chance to speak up for Ninoy and to join him in his philosophy and cause for freedom and democracy; i who spent my youth in carefree laughters and forgetful enjoyment? Was it i - i who had been so passive and uninvolved for more than half of my life, basking in the accident of being born in abundance? Was it i - i who closed my ears and eyes to the pleas and cries of the poor and the oppressed, the dying and the martyrs? Was it i who killed him - i who refused to seek wisdom and righteousness; i who gave up looking for opportunities of being vigilant and concerned about the nation even when it is within arm's reach; i who refused to prove myself worthy of freedom and equality; i who is so tolerant of the present administration?
As quoted by Ninoy, "To a citizen of democracy, to protest is not only a right, it is a duty and it imposes an obligation on the government to listen, to consider and to be guided by what the community says."
In a technical sense, does it matter then who shot Ninoy or who plotted the crime? i bet even Ninoy, for God's greater plans, might even thank his assassinator, in the same way that he thanked Mr. Marcos for making possible his conversion in his imprisonment!
But it is not right for only one man to carry the burden of the whole country. Everyone must take up their cross and do their share in building the New and Better Nation we should be headed to.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Sometimes we get so used to being comfortable to the kind of life we have now that we forget exhausting all our resources for the betterment of everyone. The scriptures tell us that talents were given to us to be used and to be multiplied a hundredfold or more! For what use is this life given to us if we don't live according to how we were designed? Indeed, those who love their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for Jesus's sake will save it..
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Gifts from a mentor, teacher, role model, engineer, philosopher and friend :)
Lime and orange candies (for posterity, as ordered)
Magic purse made of sea snakes' skin by Kultura Filipino (i will place here my first salary, as ordered)
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
lime.violet.pink!
it's almost five years since i constantly brought along with me my lunch pack during school days.. At first, i felt sooo out of place, quite shy and embarrassed.. huhuhu.. i mean, are we really this poor?
What society teaches me is that students are not supposed to bring with them packed lunch or "baon" in school especially when they're at college level. They are supposed to buy food in canteens, etc. At least that's what i observed in college schools and so i really felt different. i felt the need to always have somebody accompanying me during lunch - i was too shy to eat lunch alone and i can't possibly eat in canteens outside if i do not order anything!
4 years later, i am now on my final year of studying in the university.
through the years, i got used to bringing baon every school day.
i found a deeper sense of bringing baon in school - love and understanding for my parents. sure enough, a considerable amount of money is saved whenever i bring baon to school as compared to when i just buy food in school. Another thing i've developed in bringing baon in school is a sense of courage. i have trained myself not to be moved simply because i am afraid of what other students might say about me. i mean, what on Earth do they care about me for me to care about what they think about me, right? (it's what God thinks that matters) As a matter of fact, i tried eating alone in the middle of the food court - with my baon and amidst many people around me. In embracing and accepting what i was given, i saw a lot more students bringing with them their own baon. i was actually not alone. i was also able realize the advantages of bringing with me my baon - food safety and ease of obtaining food to eat. For as long as i have my baon with me, i could eat anywhere and anytime. :) in embracing and accepting what i was given, i saw some of my classmates also bringing with them baon if they needed to. In a way, bringing my baon in school taught me to widen my perspective and not simply give in to peer pressure. It gave me sight.
Indeed life can be challenging - especially teenage and college life. But let us know that an ultimately good God has the capacity to also bring out goodness in bad or unfavorable situations.
As Bo says, may your dreams come true! :)
"violet blood
running through pink palms
touching pink cheeks
feeling pink roses
and receiving pink kisses
basking in the lime green sun
raining on pink tulips"
And it was then that i noticed them - when You found me.
:)
Monday, August 12, 2013
Lord, could You be more specific?
/blush
(*)
with special thanks to my blog adviser:
UnlimitedSoftz
Adaptavist
><>
/blush
(*)
with special thanks to my blog adviser:
UnlimitedSoftz
Adaptavist
><>
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Parang kailan lang...
Could you imagine fragile, little children lying on cold cement like that - looking at you with eyes asking if that's the best you could do?
i digress...
You scared of me, li'l darling? :(
Ilang mga linggo lang ang nakalipas, heto na sila... parang teenager cats na... :) nakakatuwa nga kasi bago pa sila tumanda ng ganito, kumakain na sila nga malalaking daga... At least noh hindi sila nagnanakaw ng isda sa bahay-bahay... :D
CYA tarpaulin
Made in Microsoft Powerpoint!! :D
Inspired by the Microsoft PPT Template used by my classmate Quenie!!! :D
To God be the glory! :D
Friday, August 9, 2013
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
the miracle that you are - be aware of that!
Every day starts with a magic spark
i've got my hopes high with a second start
we are miracles
every breath is magic
so you give yourself away with your miracle heart
Just to be alive is a magic art
we a re miracles
every breath is magic
~ Switchfoot
Monday, July 29, 2013
.xCrushcrushcrushx.
"No more crushes!!" i remember telling myself this a few years ago and just recently. i advised myself that if i want to focus on my priorities, i should get stupid admiration out of my mind. i feel so much happiness and i am filled with so much inspiration when they're around.. but when i see them with their girl friends - that's just enough to let my moment down.. in other words, having crushes gets me off balance. on one second i am this high, and on the next,i am back on my feet -to reality. i couldn't just afford to lose my focus.. it was inevitable, however, for me to have crushes. somebody just comes up and then suddenly, i have a new crush already! Wow... : | .. So this cycle would go on and on.. inspiration to sadness then back to inspiration.. i felt once again so defeated.. what's annoying however is that there are times when i don't want to remember my crush anymore and then suddenly, he shows up.. what, is this some sort of a joke? this ups and downs continued on for some time until something happened... :)
Monday, July 22, 2013
Modern Day Gideon and the 300
Remember Gideon? :)
i don't usually think of him. But now, i can't help but feel absolutely blessed and overwhelmed like him..
In the old testament, Gideon was used by God as an instrument to save the Israelites. But he wasn't supposed to do the job of a prophet or a preacher to proclaim the God's messages. Instead, he is to lead a battle against the Midianites, their oppressors. Gideon, was unbelieving that it was he who was chosen by the Lord. But after several signs shown by God, he finally accepted God's assignment.
i actually never planned it all. Upon entering college, all i dreamed and wanted was to be an honor student. So i have to keep my grades up, limit or exclude myself from participating in extracurricular activities, and always be focused with my studies and requirements. When i joined CYA, everything changed.
CYA is unlike most of the clubs in our school. It doesn't contain lots of members. It isn't very much recognized and popular. It doesn't even look or sound cool. But amazingly, lots of lives have been changed through it.
CYA is a nationwide movement of young Filipinos who wants to evangelize the youth and proclaim the Good News! In so doing, they themselves grow to become more mature Christians, more radical, wiser, stronger, and more faithful.
i joined CYA in the second semester of my first year in college. i was shy and unsociable. every time i joined an activity, i was always in an awkward situation because i really am not a very people-person and i am not very good at making friends. Somehow, i got hooked up. There were lots of games - fun games - and i looove games! i kept coming back joining their activities. it provided me with a new and different environment apart from my academic life. i actually found life there. i started singing and practicing songs. i met new friends. i was able to share a little of myself. i even invited my classmates because i found the club really life giving! i started reaching small yet new heights. With my co-CYAers, we did random evangelizations on parks, malls, in schools - we invited total strangers! Now, that is something for a shy girl like me!
On the third year, i had a hard time balancing my academic life and my nonacademic life. i actually almost flunked my subjects. Sometimes, i felt like, "why on Earth didn't i stick to plan A????" Perhaps there's no turning back now. Because we just had few club members in school, our club president kept asking help and support from us. These events coming and going were killing me every time i helped and was not able to help. When will things get better? At the end of the year, i was even disturbed and somehow honored when our Chapter head told me that it had been decided that i would be the next CYA club president. Well, honestly, i somehow saw that coming because there were very few of us left. However when the moment comes when it actually is handed on to you, it was really unbelievable. i mean, who am i? i don't even think i'm meant to lead. i don't even know what will happen in my fourth year in school. Will the subjects be more demanding and more challenging? How would my family react to my commitments? Yet, beyond all these doubts, it is as if something tells me i should accept it for it is the right thing.
i attended club presidents' meetings, received letters inviting our club to be involved in different activities. With my co-servants, we kept the club moving, we tried to hold the club together. there were really few members. They were so few that almost all of the active members were already our appointed officers. it was so draining and discouraging to see really few participants in our club activities. There are times when i really needed to sacrifice my studies just to meet a club requirement. i felt like i could really give no more. i'm tired and yet much is still asked of me. These are the times, the critical times, when surrendering everything to God's Will leads me to the manifestation of God's greatness. Whenever it seems like there is no hope left, something comes up and keeps all of us going. The year eventually came to an end with the club gaining a small but considerable number of committed members.
Now i'm on my final year in college. And by God's grace, i have not failed any of my subjects from the previous year. i am not anymore the club president because it is another person's time to assume the role. ☺
But this story will not end just like this. Like Gideon whom God had given only 300 men to help him defeat a whole lot of Midianite armies, i was also a leader who had been given few co-servants. And yet once again, like Gideon and the 300, we won the fight for the Lord. You see, we recently received a letter congratulating Christ's Youth in Action for being recognized as a club and receiving a really cooool grade - 92.33!
Indeed, God is an expert in dealing with the unlikely and the impossible!
To God be all glory! ♥
Kay Kristo Buong Buhay, Habambuhay!
i don't usually think of him. But now, i can't help but feel absolutely blessed and overwhelmed like him..
In the old testament, Gideon was used by God as an instrument to save the Israelites. But he wasn't supposed to do the job of a prophet or a preacher to proclaim the God's messages. Instead, he is to lead a battle against the Midianites, their oppressors. Gideon, was unbelieving that it was he who was chosen by the Lord. But after several signs shown by God, he finally accepted God's assignment.
i actually never planned it all. Upon entering college, all i dreamed and wanted was to be an honor student. So i have to keep my grades up, limit or exclude myself from participating in extracurricular activities, and always be focused with my studies and requirements. When i joined CYA, everything changed.
CYA is unlike most of the clubs in our school. It doesn't contain lots of members. It isn't very much recognized and popular. It doesn't even look or sound cool. But amazingly, lots of lives have been changed through it.
CYA is a nationwide movement of young Filipinos who wants to evangelize the youth and proclaim the Good News! In so doing, they themselves grow to become more mature Christians, more radical, wiser, stronger, and more faithful.
i joined CYA in the second semester of my first year in college. i was shy and unsociable. every time i joined an activity, i was always in an awkward situation because i really am not a very people-person and i am not very good at making friends. Somehow, i got hooked up. There were lots of games - fun games - and i looove games! i kept coming back joining their activities. it provided me with a new and different environment apart from my academic life. i actually found life there. i started singing and practicing songs. i met new friends. i was able to share a little of myself. i even invited my classmates because i found the club really life giving! i started reaching small yet new heights. With my co-CYAers, we did random evangelizations on parks, malls, in schools - we invited total strangers! Now, that is something for a shy girl like me!
On the third year, i had a hard time balancing my academic life and my nonacademic life. i actually almost flunked my subjects. Sometimes, i felt like, "why on Earth didn't i stick to plan A????" Perhaps there's no turning back now. Because we just had few club members in school, our club president kept asking help and support from us. These events coming and going were killing me every time i helped and was not able to help. When will things get better? At the end of the year, i was even disturbed and somehow honored when our Chapter head told me that it had been decided that i would be the next CYA club president. Well, honestly, i somehow saw that coming because there were very few of us left. However when the moment comes when it actually is handed on to you, it was really unbelievable. i mean, who am i? i don't even think i'm meant to lead. i don't even know what will happen in my fourth year in school. Will the subjects be more demanding and more challenging? How would my family react to my commitments? Yet, beyond all these doubts, it is as if something tells me i should accept it for it is the right thing.
i attended club presidents' meetings, received letters inviting our club to be involved in different activities. With my co-servants, we kept the club moving, we tried to hold the club together. there were really few members. They were so few that almost all of the active members were already our appointed officers. it was so draining and discouraging to see really few participants in our club activities. There are times when i really needed to sacrifice my studies just to meet a club requirement. i felt like i could really give no more. i'm tired and yet much is still asked of me. These are the times, the critical times, when surrendering everything to God's Will leads me to the manifestation of God's greatness. Whenever it seems like there is no hope left, something comes up and keeps all of us going. The year eventually came to an end with the club gaining a small but considerable number of committed members.
Now i'm on my final year in college. And by God's grace, i have not failed any of my subjects from the previous year. i am not anymore the club president because it is another person's time to assume the role. ☺
But this story will not end just like this. Like Gideon whom God had given only 300 men to help him defeat a whole lot of Midianite armies, i was also a leader who had been given few co-servants. And yet once again, like Gideon and the 300, we won the fight for the Lord. You see, we recently received a letter congratulating Christ's Youth in Action for being recognized as a club and receiving a really cooool grade - 92.33!
Indeed, God is an expert in dealing with the unlikely and the impossible!
To God be all glory! ♥
Kay Kristo Buong Buhay, Habambuhay!
Sunday, July 14, 2013
The CYA Bonding Clock! :D
guess what.. i made this using only Microsoft Powerpoint.. :) Pretty cool for me..
i hope i could do better though.. especially in inviting more people to CYA.. You know, i have never experienced anything like this, i've found so much meaning... and in knowing God, i found me (partially)..
if there's one thing i'd really wish for - it is for all people to see what i saw.. for all of them to realize how beautiful life can be with God in your life.
Join us, i pray.
P.S. We've already moved from F705 to C303! B)
About Giving :)
7 "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 9 Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? 11 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!
12 “In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
Matthew 7
This is about a woman who is about to come home riding a bus. Let us call her Badet. But before going home, she went first to a shop near the bus station to buy Rosquillos for pasalubong. She bought two packs, one for herself to eat and the other for her siblings. While waiting for her trip, she sat on the waiting benches. She placed her bag on her left onto an empty seat. One Rosquillos was on her right. She noticed an old man, sitting next to her Rosquillos. She checked her bus tickets when suddenly the old man opened the Rosquillos. She unbelievingly watched the man as he got one piece of the biscuit and ate it. So she also got one piece to get even with the man and he saw the man smiling a mysterious smile, not showing his teeth, actually. The man got one again and she also did the same, and Badet could only tell herself, “What a thick-faced old man, huh”. Until finally, only one piece was left and the man smiled, got the last piece, broke it and gave the half to Badet. Badet, still not believing what just happened, went on her way, quite mad. She went into a bus, placed her bag into the placement above her seat. She got her phone inside her bag and guess what she saw – 2 packs of Rosquillos, unopened and definitely uneaten.
So what was the morale of the story? Many of us are like Badet. Generous but only to a certain point. We hold back in giving just to save some things for our self. The old man is like our God. Sometimes, we hear Him inviting us to help others, to be good to our friends, to be a neighbor to strangers. The Gospel says “In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you”. We sometimes think that a lot of things are taken from us and that we still are asked for more – our money, time, service, love. We often forget that in giving, it is us who actually receives. To think, that what the old man asks is just her sweet “Thank you”.
Above all our seemingly heroic giving and generosity, we must remember the ultimate gift of God. That is, the gift of love. For God so loved the world, He gave us His only Son, Jesus Christ our Savior, His most precious One. This generosity can also be seen in Jesus' total surrender to His Father's will - to give His life as a ransom for many. He did not spend His time dreaming of His ambitions in life. He did not dream to be a scholar and be the wisest man on the planet. He did not dream any of the stuff we usually dream of today. Imagine yourself not dreaming to be a successful engineer. He let go of His human desires. In a way, He actually let go of His life. That, for me, is the greatest act of generosity - to give your life to somebody who isn't even worth it.
The Gospel reminds us that because our Father is generous, we should ask Him. We don’t own anything and we definitely do not know everything. We are so focused on the practical details of life, we are thinking, "oh, i'll just give money to this beggar, he could probably get through the day". But more than money, all we need is love. And when we think we don't have enough, let us remember that we have a generous Father who gives us good things when we ask Him of it. We think we ought to be generous, but most of the time, we have to be humble first and ask the Father for help and guidance. Because before we could truly give, we must first receive Him in our lives.
So, let us ask, and it will be given to us; seek, and we will find; knock, and it will be opened to us.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Friday, June 7, 2013
Catching Fire (young and loving it!)
This girl was and will be on fire.
Have you ever been so excited about an event you are sure to happen that you could no longer sleep at night nor spend any minute without thinking about it?
Well, i have not.
i am a member of a Catholic movement aiming to evangelize the youth, specifically, college students... and i just joined one of this movement's conferences. i wasn't exactly looking forward to attending this five-day event, given that our place (chapter) would be the one hosting the event, i would definitely be one of the involved persons preparing for the event. what i was expecting were days full of dance practices, accounting stuffs, meetings, reports, etc.
now.... the awaited day came... i am so excited T___T
okay... i actually don't know what to expect.. and again, i am not excited (period)
the first day was okay. we get to meet new friends. not just friends, but real brothers and sisters in Christ. weee! :) we were taught to really greet them with a beautiful and welcoming aura. as i've said, we're brothers and sisters. we really have to get out of our way, swallow our shyness and be the first to greet them.. bitter work for a shy person like me! and i WASN'T really doing any good nor feeling any better until....... i met some friends i've already met before. i began to chat with them easily and more spontaneously. i asked them how they're doing, what's new, and the like. and so the first day was okay.
now, tell me, am i really excited about the second day? i don't even think i slept at all. But that wasn't because i'm excited! i just had had a hard time acquainting my body with the bed! all i knew was that it was already morning (about 4 am) and that i am fully awaken by the sound of a phone's alarm... (ba-na-na-ba-na-na-na....).. Good morning, huh? at about 7 am, i finished bath and breakfast. my morning duty then officially started. i had a worship session to attend, however, i cannot leave a certain assignment yet.. i therefore came to the worship meeting late. as i entered the hall, a worship song was played..everyone was feeling the music and the atmosphere of the event.. i had a hunch that the worship was almost over.. and i was proven right... i tried to make the most out of the last moments of the worship session and there was a last song played... and it was quite familiar to me...
http://www.inspiritandtruth.ucoweb.org/lyrics_chords.html#9
i ... actually like that song.. then, suddenly, unexpectedly, as the lyrics went on... "There is a love stronger than death, passion deeper than this life" Something caught me.. my heart was moved, pricked perhaps...and suddenly tears effortlessly began wetting my cheeks.. i can't stop crying.. feeling how unworthy i am..
now you might be thinking what we have here is some sort of a drama...
Well, you may say.. but this drama sure is real to me.. :)
i felt God's presence.. i somehow got a sense of His very deep love conquering even death.. As in, all i can say is WOW!! [i remembered Coco now! ;) ]
i was in the midst of a worship session expecting nothing, getting excited over nothing, feeling plain.. when suddenly truth is washed up over my face! it was so refreshing and it gives me full of hope that amidst the blandness of what i was feeling, there is a passion deeper than life!
Now tell me, how can i never be this excited? :)
Have you ever been so excited about an event you are sure to happen that you could no longer sleep at night nor spend any minute without thinking about it?
Well, i have not.
i am a member of a Catholic movement aiming to evangelize the youth, specifically, college students... and i just joined one of this movement's conferences. i wasn't exactly looking forward to attending this five-day event, given that our place (chapter) would be the one hosting the event, i would definitely be one of the involved persons preparing for the event. what i was expecting were days full of dance practices, accounting stuffs, meetings, reports, etc.
now.... the awaited day came... i am so excited
okay... i actually don't know what to expect.. and again, i am not excited (period)
the first day was okay. we get to meet new friends. not just friends, but real brothers and sisters in Christ. weee! :) we were taught to really greet them with a beautiful and welcoming aura. as i've said, we're brothers and sisters. we really have to get out of our way, swallow our shyness and be the first to greet them.. bitter work for a shy person like me! and i WASN'T really doing any good nor feeling any better until....... i met some friends i've already met before. i began to chat with them easily and more spontaneously. i asked them how they're doing, what's new, and the like. and so the first day was okay.
now, tell me, am i really excited about the second day? i don't even think i slept at all. But that wasn't because i'm excited! i just had had a hard time acquainting my body with the bed! all i knew was that it was already morning (about 4 am) and that i am fully awaken by the sound of a phone's alarm... (ba-na-na-ba-na-na-na....).. Good morning, huh? at about 7 am, i finished bath and breakfast. my morning duty then officially started. i had a worship session to attend, however, i cannot leave a certain assignment yet.. i therefore came to the worship meeting late. as i entered the hall, a worship song was played..everyone was feeling the music and the atmosphere of the event.. i had a hunch that the worship was almost over.. and i was proven right... i tried to make the most out of the last moments of the worship session and there was a last song played... and it was quite familiar to me...
Behold the eyes of the Lord search the face of the earth
To find hearts that are given, seeking souls to make pure.
To enflame this world's darkness, to warm cold hearts with grace.
Am I here, Lord, for such a time, for such a place?
Here is my life, Lord: heart, mind and body.
My soul's surrender, take it for your own.
And you will lead, I know, where only love can go.
Here is my life, O Lord, my life for you.
There is a love stronger than death, passion deeper than this life
In the heart's purest longing lies the pearl of great price.
One love all loves surpassing, true surrender the cost.
Am I here, Lord, to bear this love and share its cross?
i ... actually like that song.. then, suddenly, unexpectedly, as the lyrics went on... "There is a love stronger than death, passion deeper than this life" Something caught me.. my heart was moved, pricked perhaps...and suddenly tears effortlessly began wetting my cheeks.. i can't stop crying.. feeling how unworthy i am..
now you might be thinking what we have here is some sort of a drama...
Well, you may say.. but this drama sure is real to me.. :)
i felt God's presence.. i somehow got a sense of His very deep love conquering even death.. As in, all i can say is WOW!! [i remembered Coco now! ;) ]
i was in the midst of a worship session expecting nothing, getting excited over nothing, feeling plain.. when suddenly truth is washed up over my face! it was so refreshing and it gives me full of hope that amidst the blandness of what i was feeling, there is a passion deeper than life!
Now tell me, how can i never be this excited? :)
i'm dumped!
oh boy!
i certainly believe that there's a right time for everything.
i've also trained and conditioned my mind to think rationally.
however, there are just some things i could not control.
i am a girl.
i have been amazed a lot of times about how stuffs work, how beautiful concepts become, how wonderful the creations were made..
but most importantly, i have also been amazed and inspired by a lot of people..
some of these beautiful people are my crushes..
i am the kind of girl who is attracted by the kind of guy who's smart, a gentleman and maybe a bit handsome.
i had a lot of crushes, most of them i have gotten over with.. haha..
okay, so this is part of an evaluation of myself..
let's look back a bit..
here are my crushes:
- R (grade 1)
- G (grade 1)
- C (grade 3)
- A (grade 4)
- I (grade 5 or 6)
- J (high school)
- A (high school)
- DS (3rd yr high school)
- N (1st yr college)
- L (1st yr college)
- L.. (1st yr college)
- R (1st yr college)
- R (1st yr college)
- Jeepney driver (2nd yr college)
- P (2nd yr college)
- G (2nd yr college)
- Kyouhei (2nd yr college)
- V (2nd yr college)
- MR (3rd yr college)
- A (3rd yr college)
- R (3rd yr college)
- Jeepney seatmate (4th yr college)
- T (4th year college)
- J (4th year college)
- J (2013 summer)
- T (2013 summer)
- J (2013 summer)
- L (2013 summer)
- V (2013 summer)
so here i am.. thinking about that one person i haven't gotten over with yet..
sometimes .. alright, it's weird to ask, but.. sometimes i ask why can't we be at least..friends?
okaaay.. i know that would be quite impossible.. especially when most of my crushes aren't my friends..
i just don't know why i always feel so defeated whenever i have a new crush..
in the first place, it's just a crush!
oh great!
29 and couunting?
Monday, April 22, 2013
16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. 17 For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, 18 while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NASB)
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NASB)
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