30 years late

Who killed Benigno "Ninoy" S. Aquino Jr.?

Was it Ferdinand Marcos, the 1965-1986 president of the Philippines - he who in his years in office had been constantly criticized by Ninoy; he who had proclaimed martial law in expression of his "desire" to build a new and better nation? Was it he - he who due to this proclamation caused years of turmoil and animosity all over the country; he who planted seeds of fear and doubt in the hearts and minds of Filipinos; he who used his power to dictate Philippines's activities - its progress and decline; he who killed Filipinos' hopes and dreams of freedom; he who without due process of law imprisoned Ninoy and other politicians against him in his plans and intentions; he who in giving benefits, was partial and particular only to those who accepted and obeyed his laws; he who was not only an enemy of the Filipinos, but also of Ninoy?

Who killed Ninoy? Was it Imelda Marcos, the ever "beautiful" wife and right hand of Mr. Marcos? Was it she - she who along with her husband, squandered the nation's treasury for the establishment of useless centers and for endless adornment of her body with jewelries and laces? Was it she who plotted the doom of Ninoy; she who had a great chance of being the next president in replacement of her husband; she who participated in the plans and implementations of Mr. Marcos?

Who killed Ninoy? Was it Danding Cojuangco, a crony of Marcos and a wealthy businessman - he who had enough influence and power to order a team to kill Ninoy; he who had access to the Marcoses and to the Aquinos; he who was once involved in a dispute with Ninoy earlier in their careers?

Who killed Ninoy? Was it the communists, as accused by Mr. Marcos? Were it they - they who may have hated Ninoy in every way; they who had previously been companions of Ninoy in his younger days in service of the army?

i wondered. i asked. i looked for evidences, possible clues that would lead me to the light of this dark and unjustifiable act in history. The answers, in some ways, i thought, came closer. Yet at some point, some theories led me to darkness once more. It seems hopeless. Lots of witnesses have died. Many evidences were gone. No video clip nor photo was ever accurate. It was also as if time erased and disabled the key unlocking the crime, making it immensely difficult, if not impossible, to disentangle the interlocking cobwebs of truth and untruth.

i couldn't help it. Though dying is inevitable, i swear i just couldn't help being regretful over the death of an exemplary and honorable man. Days ago, his death anniversary was remembered, honored, reminisced. Memories of his life and documentaries were shown on TV. It was shown, before his death, that he already had a sense of what was to come after his trip from Taipei to Manila. He fully considered the great probability of assassination, yet he showed immense and deep determination to come home. A day before his last trip, he had been objective in every way. He ordered media teams to be ready with their cameras, recorders, etc, for whatever would happen. He even discussed how a bulletproof vest could only protect his body, thus, risking his legs and most importantly, his head. He prayed, he slept, he ate, he wrote letters, he communicated with the people he needed to communicate with, and he returned home to be killed.

Nevertheless, i will not stop wondering what all these are for. Yes, after the death of Ninoy, Filipinos were ignited and they rallied against the dictator and against his crooked administration, forcing an end to his dictatorship and leading to the restoration of democracy. Now what? How is today different from the 80s? Politics - still full of greed and corruption. Summary killings are ever present. Middle classes, generally, don't give a care! Yet all these are killing us reducing us to society-made slaves of money, work, entertainment, luxuries. Today must have been worse then! The national and local government now are composed of unfit officials. There is an imbalance of "passion" (that's how they name it in all their dramas and flowery speeches) and ability. We must even ask, what this passion is all about - to serve the people or to collect lots of money? We might even go further, are Filipinos really worth dying for? With all due respect to Ninoy's analysis of the good and bad characteristics of Filipinos, was it a wrong move then for him to embrace death for his fellowmen?

Who killed Ninoy? Were they the Filipinos during his generation - they who hid in their homes for fear of punishment and/or death; they who preferred silence and tyranny more than holding their heads up in protest of the dictatorship; they who nursed fear in their hearts and in the hearts of other Filipinos; they who refused to prove themselves worthy of freedom and equality; they who had been tolerant of the Marcos administration, they who had been too late to rise up?

Who killed Ninoy? Was it i - i who had been late 30 years; i who never had the chance to speak up for Ninoy and to join him in his philosophy and cause for freedom and democracy; i who spent my youth in carefree laughters and forgetful enjoyment? Was it i - i who had been so passive and uninvolved for more than half of my life, basking in the accident of being born in abundance? Was it i - i who closed my ears and eyes  to the pleas and cries of the poor and the oppressed, the dying and the martyrs? Was it i who killed him - i who refused to seek wisdom and righteousness; i who gave up looking for opportunities of being vigilant and concerned about the nation even when it is within arm's reach; i who refused to prove myself worthy of freedom and equality; i who is so tolerant of the present administration?

As quoted by Ninoy, "To a citizen of democracy, to protest is not only a right, it is a duty and it imposes an obligation on the government to listen, to consider and to be guided by what the community says."

In a technical sense, does it matter then who shot Ninoy or who plotted the crime? i bet even Ninoy, for God's greater plans, might even thank his assassinator, in the same way that he thanked Mr. Marcos for making possible his conversion in his imprisonment!

But it is not right for only one man to carry the burden of the whole country. Everyone must take up their cross and do their share in building the New and Better Nation we should be headed to.