You know what, God's mercy manifests in His desire to enter and love a chaotic, miserable, hopeless heart.

i just have this tendency to get depressed. No, it's not about not having a job. i think it boils down to my desire to do something meaningful, fruitful, helpful. And guess what - at 23, i honestly have achieved nothing much. i am pressured, deeply pressured by the world and its concerns and issues. Arrgh! And i just can't offer anything at all right now! No money, no talent, no will! i feel so indolent, as a matter of fact.. What to do? And then there's this guy that i like who likes me too, and who woos me as of the time being. But then there's this whole work, his-past-lover situation and issues relating to that that makes the whole wooing process much more, i hate to say it, complicated. i just believe that there's nothing complicated in love.. You just have to be honest about each other and then everything will be as clear as the clear sky! Well, so maybe our situation is not complicated after all. It's just hard, difficult, challenging, mind-occupying. Will he reciprocate my love? i do not know. There is no guarantee. But as Sarah Geronimo said, "...magmahal ka nang totoo, magmahal ka nang tama. Kung hindi niya suklian yun, sorry. At least, ako, naging totoo ako sa ‘yo, minahal kita nang totoo.” (Love truly, love rightly. If [he] won't reciprocate that, sorry. At least i had been true to you.) And so maybe those are just part of my whole [is it pathetic?] depression story. But i guess i'll have to be true to myself, find my core (as in Legend of the Guardians) and always be inclined to His will.

The best part of this story though, is that if, by God's amazing grace, i see this through, it'll be one of the most victorious stories of my life.. ever!!