Have you ever been so excited about an event you are sure to happen that you could no longer sleep at night nor spend any minute without thinking about it?
Well, i have not.
i am a member of a Catholic movement aiming to evangelize the youth, specifically, college students... and i just joined one of this movement's conferences. i wasn't exactly looking forward to attending this five-day event, given that our place (chapter) would be the one hosting the event, i would definitely be one of the involved persons preparing for the event. what i was expecting were days full of dance practices, accounting stuffs, meetings, reports, etc.
now.... the awaited day came... i am so excited
okay... i actually don't know what to expect.. and again, i am not excited (period)
the first day was okay. we get to meet new friends. not just friends, but real brothers and sisters in Christ. weee! :) we were taught to really greet them with a beautiful and welcoming aura. as i've said, we're brothers and sisters. we really have to get out of our way, swallow our shyness and be the first to greet them.. bitter work for a shy person like me! and i WASN'T really doing any good nor feeling any better until....... i met some friends i've already met before. i began to chat with them easily and more spontaneously. i asked them how they're doing, what's new, and the like. and so the first day was okay.
now, tell me, am i really excited about the second day? i don't even think i slept at all. But that wasn't because i'm excited! i just had had a hard time acquainting my body with the bed! all i knew was that it was already morning (about 4 am) and that i am fully awaken by the sound of a phone's alarm... (ba-na-na-ba-na-na-na....).. Good morning, huh? at about 7 am, i finished bath and breakfast. my morning duty then officially started. i had a worship session to attend, however, i cannot leave a certain assignment yet.. i therefore came to the worship meeting late. as i entered the hall, a worship song was played..everyone was feeling the music and the atmosphere of the event.. i had a hunch that the worship was almost over.. and i was proven right... i tried to make the most out of the last moments of the worship session and there was a last song played... and it was quite familiar to me...
Behold the eyes of the Lord search the face of the earth
To find hearts that are given, seeking souls to make pure.
To enflame this world's darkness, to warm cold hearts with grace.
Am I here, Lord, for such a time, for such a place?
Here is my life, Lord: heart, mind and body.
My soul's surrender, take it for your own.
And you will lead, I know, where only love can go.
Here is my life, O Lord, my life for you.
There is a love stronger than death, passion deeper than this life
In the heart's purest longing lies the pearl of great price.
One love all loves surpassing, true surrender the cost.
Am I here, Lord, to bear this love and share its cross?
i ... actually like that song.. then, suddenly, unexpectedly, as the lyrics went on... "There is a love stronger than death, passion deeper than this life" Something caught me.. my heart was moved, pricked perhaps...and suddenly tears effortlessly began wetting my cheeks.. i can't stop crying.. feeling how unworthy i am..
now you might be thinking what we have here is some sort of a drama...
Well, you may say.. but this drama sure is real to me.. :)
i felt God's presence.. i somehow got a sense of His very deep love conquering even death.. As in, all i can say is WOW!! [i remembered Coco now! ;) ]
i was in the midst of a worship session expecting nothing, getting excited over nothing, feeling plain.. when suddenly truth is washed up over my face! it was so refreshing and it gives me full of hope that amidst the blandness of what i was feeling, there is a passion deeper than life!
Now tell me, how can i never be this excited? :)
