Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Cleaner wastes (100-180s-read)

the discipline of a community in terms of waste management cannot be assessed on the looks of the main streets of the city. In Davao City, the cleanliness of lots of highways can be accounted to paid street sweepers. Thanks to them, the city looks quite livable and comfortable. Of course, they have work to do thanks to the continuous mindless throwing of garbage by people - may it be by throwing candy wrappers out of moving vehicles, throwing biscuit wrappers while walking on the sidewalks, or leaving behind seemingly useless items.

i don't exactly know how the human mind works, but trashes left anywhere and everywhere are not a very beautiful sight to look at. Point is, let us be mindful of the things we dispose of. We constantly promote tourism in the internet and on TV, but our actions are not very tourist-friendly at all, not even children-friendly!

For beginners, the first step is to throw garbage at the designated sites. In other words, avoid throwing garbage anywhere. In our barangay, for example, households usually dispose house garbage at 8-9pm at the garbage collection areas near their houses. The garbage trucks usually do their rounds and collect those compiled wastes at 9-10pm every day.

Next step would be to reduce waste volume. There are lots of ways to do this. The easiest to do is composting. Avoid throwing fruit peelings, dried leaves and twigs, and the like into the garbage bins. Instead, bury them in the soil in pots, in sacks filled with soil, or better yet, in your compost pit. You may also give away left overs to your pets or to leftover collectors (lamao collectors). Leftover collectors usually give the leftovers they've collected to their pet pigs. Or you may also bury your leftovers along with your fruit peelings. This way, you do not only reduce waste volume, but you also contribute less to the foul smell in garbage bins. And i highly discourage burning of wastes; it obviously contributes to air pollution.

In addition to the above-mentioned methods of waste volume reduction, let us try choosing wisely the things we buy. We like to buy junk foods. And we are very much aware that most of them are made of some kind of foil, and this foil as you may observe, is made up of different layers of material. When you account for all the junk foods eaten per day (which is also very unhealthy), and all the wrappers thrown per day, it very much makes up a large bulk of trashes. Being a consumer must not compromise our task as stewards of the environment. Again, choosing the things we buy and decreasing the amount we throw away should be the first step to waste management. Unfortunately, as most of us know, it is the hardest.

Another thing, we must also practice waste segregation.  Even if we have to throw things away, it is very much helpful to garbage collectors if we sort them. For instance, one could throw papers separately from plastics by putting each in different plastic bags. In this way, we could also actually help those people who make a living by garbage scavenging. If you come out at night in the city, you could observe some children or old men looking for useful stuff in garbage bins that could be sold to junk shops. Theirs is a tough job. And so, as i've mentioned, one way of helping them is by garbage segregation. Knowing that there are people who delve into garbage bins every night, perhaps we should also do our part in providing them with cleaner garbage that we throw everyday. We must also be concerned with their health, you know.

From everyone who has been given much, much will be required (Lk 12:48).

If we aim for development, we must take cleanliness seriously (and punctuality). ;)

Monday, April 21, 2014

the Colors of the Wind


song written by lyricist Stephen Schwartz and composer Alan Menken

You think I'm an ignorant savage
And you've been so many places
I guess it must be so
But still I cannot see
If the savage one is me
How can there be so much that you don't know?
You don't know ...

You think you own whatever land you land on
The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sunsweet berries of the Earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once, never wonder what they're worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

How high will the sycamore grow?
If you cut it down, then you'll never know
And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon

For whether we are white or copper skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind

You can own the Earth and still
All you'll own is Earth until
You can paint with all the colors of the wind

from ST Lyrics

Sunday, April 20, 2014

I-Witness March 8 2014 Daang Ilog

Happy Easter! ♥


credits to the artist: Fr. Antonino "Nick" Eucapor, CMF

1st

If i start counting from April of this year, this is the first time i've watched A Walk to Remember! ;)

from the A Walk to Remember site, i found another dimension of the movie..
i've always loved summaries of this movie.. especially this one  :)

"Each Spring in the little port town of Beaufort, North Carolina, when the wind smells of pine and salt and the sea, Landon Carter remembers his senior year at Beaufort High and Jamie Sullivan, the girl who changed his life.

Jamie was the last person Landon was likely to fall for. Serious and conservative, she was as far from cool as she could possibly be, and didn’t care. The daughter of the town’s Baptist minister, Jamie was not afraid of letting people know that her faith was the most important part of her life, even if it cost her some friends. Landon hung with the in-crowd -- an aimless, moody, reckless guy who breezed through school on looks and bravado. He had no plans, no future and no faith in himself.

One night a prank that he and his buddies set up goes terribly wrong and lands a kid in the hospital. As punishment, Landon must tutor a young student at a poor school and participate in the Drama Club’s Spring play ­ two activities the principal hopes will teach him some humility. They also happen to throw him into close contact with Jamie. Clearly in over his head, Landon is forced to ask her for help.

Soon, against his own expectations, Landon finds himself falling in love with this outwardly plain girl who possesses a passion for life he never imagined possible. But it isn’t easy. For reasons of her own, Jamie does everything she can to run away from romance until it becomes impossible to deny.

Being together will test everything that they believe in. Most of all, it will test the power of love and faith to transform a life into something worth living."

As a salutation to our class valedictorian...

A Valedictory Address
By Jubail W. Pasia
Ateneo de Davao University
Class of 2014

Introduction

(...)

“Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.”[1]

I never imagined myself delivering a valedictory address on behalf of 1429 graduates. Being valedictorian was never my goal; it was never a part of my game plan. But it happened as it happened. I guess it is because I fell in love. I learned that in love, we open ourselves to the world of vulnerability and terrains of uncertainty, to being hurt and wounded because of failures, to having our hearts scarred and broken due to seemingly endless frustrations and disappointments[2]. But in the same context of love, we strive to be better, we fight, we do everything at our disposal to rectify our mistakes and failings, we give it our all, we embrace our very imperfections. We own them and yet we offer a part of ourselves. Love is a battle, love is an encounter. Love is a growing up. And this is how our college life has been. It is a tapestry of anecdotes of experiences of love and
loving.

On Our Shared and Common Experiences of Falling In Love

The story of our college life is beautifully woven by various experiences of love. Between the time of choosing our course, when some pursued with confidence the fulfillment of their passion while some dove in fatalistic uncertainty but took the risk and looked forward to see where it will take them, and this day of gratefulness and shared celebration of years of hard work and perseverance, we were molded and formed by our Jesuit education. Every step of it was a challenge; every step of it brings back grace-filled learning experiences. From waking up early to attend 7:40 AM classes and going home late from evening classes, to practicing our routines for PE performances, to polishing our theatrical scripts to deliver plays in literature and Rizal subjects, to gaining victory in college fiesta and college days competitions, to looking forward to seeing our crush pass by the corridors, to attending to daily duties as university scholars and student assistants, to writing term papers and trembling at oral examinations in Philosophy, to revising papers rejected by professors, to feeling the intense emotions of having  our theses or feasibility studies approved, and to befriending the break of dawn to beat deadlines.  Who would ever forget the FYDP sessions which introduced us to the Ignatian values of Magis[3], cura personalis[4], and of being men-and-women for-and-with- others; the NSTP-CWTS formations that immersed us deeper into our commitment to social justice and radical giving of ourselves to others. In everything that has been, we existentially pushed our limits and realized that we have actually achieved milestones we never imagined we could reach, honing our intellectual capacities, and deepening our social involvement and our spirituality. For all of these, we are deeply grateful to God who is, has been and will always be present in our lives, “laboring” lovingly “for us in all things.”[5]

The Commitment to Love, Its Roots and its Fruits

Now, we ask ourselves, “Where do we go from here?”  Where will our Ateneo education take us? As Ateneans, we are blessed with excellent instruction and formation; we practice robust research, and community service. We are envisioned by our Alma Mater “to benefit from, and contribute to and engage the global world,”[6] as we become “leaders for the Philippine Church and the society, especially for Mindanao.”[7] As Ateneans, we are challenged to be at the “frontiers”[8] to bring the “evangelical spirit”[9] of the gospel from the centers to “the margins of society,”[10] and to respond to the morally compelling call of the times. As Ateneans, we are called to live a life not only of faith but also of love, love that impels us to act in behalf of justice.

St. Ignatius of Loyola reminds us of the very nature of love---Firstly, “love ought to manifest itself in deeds rather than in words;”[11] for love which remains only in words and sweet poetry, are but empty rhetorics, while Love incarnated in action is excellence in the service of others.

Secondly, love can never be divorced from personal commitment. As such, being an Atenean is to respond to a lifetime invitation; it is an invitation to commit ourselves to become “witnesses to excellence”[12], builders of peace, persons of integrity, and champions of good and ethical governance, “cultural transformation”[13], and “human ecology”[14]. Being an Atenean and also a Mindanaon, we are all challenged to be in ‘frontier’ spaces where we can best contribute in attaining the ideals and the vision of peace and development in Mindanao. We are a privileged generation for we are given by history the chance to vigorously contribute in realizing the “Comprehensive Agreement on the Bangsamoro”[15], and the broad development plan of “Mindanao 2020.”[16] Even as we speak, the ink on the peace accord on the Bangsamoro has just dried, but let our hopes overflow our hearts. From among us, the future businesspersons and entrepreneurs are challenged not only to create wealth but also advocate for its equitable distribution, and establish a dynamic and sustainable Philippine and Mindanao economy. The future lawmakers and public servants are challenged to embody ethical, participatory and inclusive governance, push for a social and political system that privileges the common good and fight for the rights of the oppressed and the voiceless, creating a justice system accessible to all. The future educators are challenged not only to contribute to the formation of our youth but more importantly, to emphatically insist on Philippine educational reforms. Future nurses and medical practitioners are challenged not only to alleviate the sick from the difficulties of suffering from diseases and health complications, but more importantly to make these services accessible to the poor and the marginalized. The future media practitioners are challenged to bare the truth at all times. The future engineers, architects, and scientists, are challenged to be innovators to promote environmental sustainability, preservation of biodiversity, and renewable energy. All in the service of the “faith-that does-justice”[17] for “the common good”[18]---All for love of the Creator, the creation and the human creatures.[19]

Thirdly, Love implies openness to life experiences and freedom to become.  The celebration of our graduation is not only a celebration for surviving four or more years of academic rigor, but also a commencement of a new chapter in our lives as catalysts of transformation and agents of liberation of Philippine society as we strive to excel in our respective fields, where we have all been called to. Beyond the walls of the university are bigger opportunities for bigger dreams and bigger risks for bigger failures. But let our core, our inner self, our heart of hearts, formed in the Ateneo Way, embrace these promising dreams and withstand possible failures. In the message of Pope Francis to the youth during last year’s World Youth Day, he urged, and I quote “In an age where we are constantly being enticed by vain and empty illusions of happiness, we risk settling for less and thinking small when it comes to the meaning of life. Think big instead. Open your hearts!”[20] Yes, in love, let us embrace the richness of life itself and open our hearts to freedom---that is the creative power to be at our fullest humanity. Let us continue to pursue what we love to do, and love what we ought to do. And by doing so, we become “Ateneo de Davao sui generis leaders.”[21] At the end of the day, we are directed to the path where God wants us to be, “called to be saints, sent forth as heroes.”[22] Heed the call and feel that burning passion that drives us to love and love all the more. Let us respond to the call, accept our mission, stay in love with what we do and ought to do, and out of the superabundance of this love, it will decide everything.

Thanksgiving

(...)

With that, let me leave one and all with this striking prayer by the late Jesuit Superior General, Fr. Pedro Arrupe:

Nothing is more practical than finding God,
than falling in Love in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.
It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read, whom you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in Love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.[23]


Daghang salamat kaninyong tanan!

__________________________________________________________


[1] Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ, “Rooted and Grounded in Love” (1981)
[2] Rollo May, “Love and Will” (1969)
[3] Fr. Barton T.Geger, SJ, Jesuit Higher Education, What Magis Really Means and Why It Matters (2012)
[4] Fr.Peter-Hans Kolvenbach S.J, Review of Ignatian Spirituality: Cura Personalis(2007)
[5]Go Forth and Teach: The Characteristics of Jesuit Education,(1987)
[6] Ateneo de Davao University Student Manual: Vision, Mission and Goals of the University (2013)    
[7]Ateneo de Davao University Student Manual: Vision, Mission and Goals of theUniversity (2013)
[8] Documents of the 35 GeneralCongregation of the Society of Jesus, Decrees 1 & 2 (2008)th
[9] Pope Francis, Homily delivered on May 5,2013, during the Holy Mass for those involved in Confraternities committed to ecclesial, evangelical and missionary service (2013)
[10] Pope John Paul II, Redemptoris Missio: On the Permanent Validity of the Church's Missionary Mandate (1990)
[11] St. Ignatius of Loyola, Spiritual Exercises: Contemplatio (230-237)
[12] Go Forth and Teach: The Characteristics ofJesuit Education,(1987)
[13] Characteristics of the Social Apostolate of the Society of Jesus (1998)
[14] Pope Benedict XVI, Caritas in Veritate (2009)
[15] Comprehensive Agreement on the Bangsamoro (2014)
[16] Mindanao 2020 (2011)
[17] Documents of the 32nd General Congregation of the Society of Jesus, Decree 4(1975)
[18] Jacques Maritain, ‘The Person and the Common Good’ (1947)
[19] Documents of the 35th General Congregation of the Society of Jesus, Decrees 2 & 3 (2008)
[20] Pope Francis, Message for the 29th World Youth Day (2014)
[21] Fr. Joel Tabora, SJ, ADDU University President’s Address to the Joint ADDU Faculty Convocation (2012)
[22] Filipino Catholic Laity: Called to be Saints…Sent Forth as Heroes!, Pastoral Exhortation of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines for the 2014 Year of the Laity(2013)
[23] Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ, “Rooted and Grounded in Love” (1981)



*I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude to my mentor, Sir Hadji Balajadia, for passionately guiding me in writing this address [and for helping me out with the annotations]. I won't come up with this speech without your support. Thank you so much! :)

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Did you know???

to take a snapshot in VLC media player, you could actually use Shift + S for Windows, Linux and Unix, and Command + Alt + S for Mac OS X

thanks to this page:
I-Witness Minsan sa Isang Taon


I Witness Isang Bote ng Binhi

CYA Mindanao Conference 2014: i am Chosen, Sent and Joyful!!

i think, i have never been this excited...
to quantify this excitement, let's just say i was more excited to attending the MinCon in April than to graduating in March ;)

maybe, part of my excitement came from the fact that i'd be seeing my crush again.. teehee... :)

but honestly, i prayed for this.. i don't know why but i was quite sure that i'd be able to attend the event.. i waited and prayed for it to come... along with looking forward to all that i can experience, i invited and urged brothers and sisters in CYA Davao to join in the event.. some of those i invited were firs timers, some were able to attend the event before.. and so i was a little sad when not many of the people i invited could come...nevertheless, we must always trust God's timing and hope the best for them.

at the start of the event, i set a goal to achieve - that is to be able to listen to the Lord better. i needed to hear His words and messages clearly. i need to find peace in myself. i need Him to dominate my life. 

During the event, the greetings of my brothers and sisters never failed me. They were all smiles, some even gave me warm hugs. CYA provides a gathering for different people to meet and feel really at home and at ease with each other, even if they've met them for the first time. and i can't help but really give out my best smile! :)

Throughout the 5-day event, the theme of being chosen, sent and joyful was repeated in amazingly different ways. During plenary sessions, we were taught that even people from long ago were called and chosen by God - people like Moses, Isaiah, Jeremiah, David, Elijah and others. Each of them have their weaknesses but the Lord chose them anyway. During worship sessions, songs sung were about being joyful in living the life God called us to live. The passages taken from the Bible for reflection were also centered on the theme (John 15:11-16). During the sexuality courses, in my case for sisters, the message of "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends" which is from John 15:13 (still under the theme) was also discussed. 

i actually have one favorite event in MinCon, that is "True Love Waits". It is a sexuality course for ladies. The course is composed of three subtopics - the Essence of True Love and Why It is Worth the Wait, Sex and the Truths Behind It, and the Stand of CYA to the pertaining issues discussed in the first two topics. i'd like to enumerate the things i've learned:

- True love or authentic love is not a vague statement or a blind passion of intense feelings. It is an inner attitude that involves the whole being. True love consists fullness of self-surrender and the completeness of personal commitment. It looks at the other person not to use them but to serve them. Love is a gift in itself. ~ Pope John Paul II

- God is Love (1 John 4:8). God created man and woman in His image and likeness (Genesis 1:26). Therefore, God created man and woman in the image of love. We were created for love. Our destiny is to share in the depths of His love.

- and the best time to enter a relationship is when the issues you have in the past are resolved, you are spiritually mature, you are mentally mature, and financially ready.

- there is a grace in your "yes". when you say yes to God, He will give you the grace to go through what you stand for

i would also like to share to you one instant when we were worshiping the Lord one morning. i thanked God for letting me be able to see Him in nature, in my family, in brothers and sisters in CYA.. then ultimately, i thanked Him because i am able to see Him in myself.. i did not say it out of arrogance.. but out of recognizing that God is also able to work in my life.. suddenly i was moved to tears. i am a sinner yet God chose me. i easily fall back to laziness but still God chose me. suddenly everything went still. Then the song played.. "this is my desire to honor You; Lord with all my heart, i worship You; all i have within me, i give You praise; all that i adore is in You.." which effortlessly moved me further to tears.. and then later, still during the worship, my favorite song played.. ".. here is my life, Lord, heart, mind and body.." Wow!

i would also like to share you this video
   **thanks to ate Kaina - she sacrificed showing her dancing skills just to capture ours

this was during the sisters' night. We were taught by ate Badette some basics on ballet and contemporary dancing. Later on, we were given an exercise on making dance steps for a worship song. And the song for all of us was "My Mouth Shall Praise You With Joy". at first i was like, "huh? this is the song we're using? it sounds so old and unmoving!" But in the end, it all boils down to who you're praising. And so it turned out to be a marvelous song! We created really nice steps and i was unexpectedly moved by God.. ;)

Later, during the fourth day, i received a message from the Lord. i was having lots of issues with myself. Honestly, sometimes i feel like i need to be recognized, be appreciated or whatever. Yet, through ate Badette, i heard God say, "I must increase and you must decrease".. The message was solid. It was never about me. Again, during the evening worship, i finally understood it all, "He must increase and i must decrease".. After almost five years of joining CYA, it was in that eventful night that i fell in love with God and truly accepted Him in my heart.

>> i am chosen, sent and joyful!! :) may bonus pa... God says i'm beautiful!!

i highly recommend watching GMA7 documentaries

I-Witness November 8 2013 Tarima 




I-Witness April 5 2014 Pulot Pukyutan


I-Witness May 24 2014 Ambulansyang de Paa


I-Witness May 24 2014 Silong (Part 1)


I-Witness May 24 2014 Silong (Part 2)


I-Witness 2013 Lihim sa Ilalim ng Syudad

Thursday, April 17, 2014

♥ What i love about Tangled  

how Mother Gothel brings and breathes in the essence of the magic flower (that grew from the single drop of sunlight (from the sun)) :)

how little Rapunzel's voice sounds when she sings and also when she asks why she can't go outside
(and i also love how cozy their tower all edges and corners are smoothed; and by the way, everything is in there!)

little Rapunzel's innocent and inspired smile

the way she paints everything - especially the walls

her interests in stars - i love the way she draws them

what she does with her hair- she looks like a little mountain

i love this look on Pascal's face!
i love his name! - reminds me of Blaise ;)

i super love the look on her face at this moment
she seems astounded and amazed at Flynn's not having fangs

"i've got a person in my closet!!!"
i love the way her voice goes up and down and all around!
honestly, i did not recognize Mandy Moore's voice in the film - she did a marvelous job!

Flynn says it all!
the movie has built amazing characters and animations!
i love how Zachary gives life to Flynn

the three phases of "i can't believe i did this!!"

Tangled's humor :)

super warm hugs from unexpectedly adorable people
reminds me that there is goodness in everybody

i love how the song brings them all closer together

i like it when her hair glows the way the flower glows when the special song was sung

Flynn and Rapunzel moments. love. love! :)





i love how Max's tail moves up and down when shown affection 
reminds me of beloved puppies

Braids ♥

i love how she paints things and then soils herself!



the kingdom dance makes me wanna dance too
the violin playing aids in moving up to the climax of the dance 

here's the Kingdom Dance track:


even though the king and queen have very few scenes in the movie and even though they don't get to speak, there is so much emotion in their character..
the most moving part of all...
this scene is authentic!
it shows all the pain they have encountered throughout the years without Rapunzel by their side
..and at the end, the queen wipes the king's tears away, he smiles as if saying let's go on hoping..
then they let the lantern fly away..
there's something really dramatic about this scene, it shows that men have vulnerabilities and weaknesses which here are contrasted by the queen's strength and firmness

i especially love the background music during this scene.. it gives the scene a greater boost... 
indeed, Alan Menken and the whole music team did an amazing job! :)

the background music for this scene is so soft and mild and so gentle
words are not even enough to describe the emotions it brings me when i hear it..


the boat was designed in a way that it would look so firm and hard yet still have the ends provide good grips and hugs

i love how she reaches out the Kingdom lantern
the lantern, by the way, sets the mood for everything

even Pascal brings out so much emotion, with his eyes and his color

i like how he says "brunette" after being brought back to life

this is the best hug!! ever!!!
i love how his face is buried deep down in Rapunzel's neck

i love this scene! the children are all smiles!

and then there's the sweet kiss!

..finally Grace Potter sings a jumpy and joyful song!

credits to the picture i used at the beginning..
it is from World Wide Art - Disney too
the pictures are all taken from the movie Tangled ;)

Recommended videos relating the topic.. :)

A Tangled World: Creating the Look

Tangled: A Hair-raising Adventure

Tangled Ever After

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Donna's awesome gift!


 my very good friend Donna, together with her lovely sister, Tata, visited me at home and shared with me a wonderful sisterly chit-chat... along with her coming, she gave me two beautiful presents, one is a butterfly cupcake, and the other, a heart-warming and joyful letter


i love everything about her letter.. she wrote it with sincerity and gladness in her heart.. 
the interesting parts in the letter are the pictures and their corresponding captions... 
they are cleverly and creatively thought-over - which inevitably paints a smile on my face


i am truly blessed.. and i definitely believe that Donna is also an amazing blessing to the CYAers and to her loved ones.. :)

i hope you meet her too - the "Angel Locsin" and ballerina of CYA Davao ;)

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

CYA testimony


if you want or if the video above takes so much time to load, you may also view the video on Youtube


Aldem and Vanessa
- married for 18 years
- have been in Ligaya ng Panginoon for more than 23 years
- joined Christ's Youth in Action back in their college days

i prepared a mini script for and from the video :)

Aldem:
Vanessa and i met in college. We had a relationship for about 2 or 3 years. It was secret because we know that in CYA that was discouraged. And i guess looking back that was the mistake because when we kept it to ourselves there was not much guidance for us. But because of the perseverance of the brothers and sisters, ... through their prayers and through their guidance after some point when we prayed together we found out that that was not the right time for us for our relationship. So towards the end of college we decided to break off, not because there was a problem with our relationship, but because we knew it was not the right time

So when we broke off the relationship, i found out that there's really the great power of letting go especially at the right time, and when you do that, it allows you to reset and to rearrange your life towards a more purposeful future, and in this sense, the purpose that God has for us

So when we broke off our relationship, we had to say goodbye without any agreement of coming back together again. So that was what we call really unconditional and trusting in the Lord that He will take care of us beyond the relationship.

And i remember that i had to make an effort to assign in my thoughts Vanessa to the background rather than to the forefront of my attentions in life. What does that mean? i still kept her as a friend because there were many times we'd see each other in community gatherings and meetings, but i had to stop seeing her as the center of my life. And i had to do that, i felt it was important because at that stage in my life, i had to put God first, build my career, discern my state of life, and develop healthy relationships with others, especially with brothers and then of course with other sisters. And there would even be times when i would learn that she'd be sick, not feeling well, whereas in the past, i'd of course run to her side and take care of her. Once we were off the relationship, i would just say a prayer for her and not even, you know, communicate with her. And i had to learn to trust that during the time, i had to be convinced that God was sufficient for her, and that she was perfect without me. She had enough relationships around her to help her to grow, to become, and that her world did not center on me, and to let God be enough for her and to constantly remind myself not to fall back into the illusion that she needed me or that i needed her.

it's very important to know first your state of life** before you get into a relationship so that everything is in order, but all the time believing that as i grew and developed myself and i was able already to have a mature disposition in life, in my case after four years, then one of these days at the right time, in God's time, He will provide for me the right partner whom He has also been preparing. And so at the right time, when i'm more mature, and i meet the person who God has also been preparing for me, as mature, and both of us have been honed, especially broken against maybe our rebellious will, humbled, blessed, and now with a much bigger heart, beyond just thinking of "myself", and looking more towards the good of the other. Now i can give of myself and love more. The important thing is that that should be done no sooner, maturity first, growth in the Lord first, trusting in the Lord first, putting Him first in your life, and then i believe that everything would fall into place. And of course the bonus for me was that four years after, even if Vanessa was very eligible and many of the men, the brothers, were hoping to have a relationship with her, the Lord prepared her just for me. So when we got back into the relationship again, even if at first she was not that open to accepting me anymore, God found a way for us to work back and build our relationship - this time more mature, more secure and available to give more of ourselves.

the right love too soon will actually turn out to be the wrong love, and that's why God's timing is always perfect

Don't hurry, just allow the Lord to work in your life. Allow the Lord to develop you, to grow you, and put Him first and He will take care of your future. And He will have the best prepared for you

Vanessa:
There is a lot of grace when you decide to give yourself to the Lord. When we were separated, He was my only friend, allowed me opportunity to allow others to become my friend, especially other sisters, and it has blessed me a lot. i'm a better person, i'm a much stronger Christian woman because i have, in a sense, given up what is not yet in it's proper time.

Not all brothers and sisters will end up married, but in our case, we're blessed to be married and having five children. So it's worth the wait and it's worth the pain, because there's a lot of joy when the Lord finally says , "This person is for you."

Aldem
We have also some brothers and sisters who had relationships before, in college. And then they broke it off and followed the Lord. There were some of them who are not with each other anymore, but they're married to someone who's just fit for them. And they have holy lives, they're happy where they are, they have good children. It works just as well when they put the Lord first.

There's no replacement or substitute to following God's will. ;)

**state of life discernment is a process of discerning what kind of life God calls you to be - to be single for the Lord, be married for the Lord, or to follow a religious life (priest, nun, etc.)